Relationship anxiety refers to feelings of apprehension, fear, and stress associated with a romantic relationship, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA).
In order to understand how to deal with relationship anxiety, it’s important to take note of the following steps that can deal with relationship anxiety as fast as possible. Here are six possible ways to deal with it:
1) There Is No Right Way
If you or your partner is experiencing relationship anxiety, there is no right way to cure it—only the right ways for each of you individually. However, a few steps can help alleviate these feelings and bring harmony back into your relationship.
The idea that there is only one right way to do something is an illusion, and it can hold you back from realizing your potential. If your relationship is suffering because of anxiety, try doing things differently. You might find yourself pleasantly surprised by how much better you feel—and how much better your relationship feels.
In most cases, relationship anxiety is brought on by a feeling of uncertainty. For example, if your partner has just started making plans without you or spending time apart from you, it’s natural to feel that your relationship is at risk.
Dealing with relationship anxiety means doing things differently than you normally would. Do something new, or try something old in a new way—you never know what will help alleviate your anxieties until you’ve tried it out.
If there is only one thing that you remember from our guide on dealing with relationship anxiety, let it be that there is no right way. Don’t get stuck thinking there is only one path forward for a healthy relationship.
READ ALSO: 5 Mistakes You Should Avoid In Relationships
2) Put Yourself In Your Partner’s Shoes
It’s easy to lose sight of your partner’s perspective—especially when he or she is being clingy. But one way to keep your own insecurities in check and remind yourself that they’re normal and can be overcome is by putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. Remember how it felt when you were going through something stressful? Maybe it was a breakup, or maybe it was just an intense bout of worry about money.
If your partner is feeling anxious or insecure, you can remind him or her that, at some point in your life, you’ve been there too. It might even help him or her feel less isolated and more understood. Feeling compassion toward your partner will also help keep your own anxiety under control.
The same goes for if you’re feeling anxious yourself—remembering that everyone feels a bit of nervousness now and then can help you realize that these feelings are normal and should pass soon enough. However, in reviving a dying relationship, the relationship anxiety associated with it should be carefully handled to avoid causing more harm to the relationship.
As you can see, there are many ways that you can deal with relationship anxiety. Taking a few minutes every day to keep your worries in perspective and remind yourself that you’re not alone—and neither is your partner—can go a long way toward reducing these feelings of panic. If possible, try to get together in person once a week so that you have time to reconnect on your own without worrying about what social media might be showing.
3) Communication Is Key
It’s been said that communication is key, and I couldn’t agree more. If there is tension in your relationship, it will be difficult to move forward until you resolve issues and talk through problems.
Communication is difficult for some people, but necessary for healthy relationships. Learn how to communicate effectively and resolve conflict so that you can overcome any anxiety about your relationship and feel secure in love.
In order to overcome your relationship anxiety, you must communicate effectively. If there is something that is bothering you about your partner, don’t bottle it up or push it away. Communicate your concerns so that you can move forward and grow together.
Communication is a skill you will use throughout your life. Without good communication, your relationship could fall apart. Don’t wait until it’s too late! Commit yourself to improve your communication skills by actively communicating about what is going on in your relationship and learning how to resolve conflict so that you don’t have any relationship anxiety and feel secure in love.
4) Don’t Bring Up Trivial Issues
Overreacting or bringing up issues too small for discussion, especially in front of others, is a sure way to create tension. Focus on major issues that are worth arguing about, and try not to say anything when you’re angry or in a bad mood. If you’re stressed out, it may be best not to bring up any major relationship issues until you’ve both had time alone. That will ensure your discussion is effective and stress-free.
It can be tempting to bring up little things like clothes thrown on a chair or dirty dishes left in the sink but don’t. Bringing up minor issues can cause major fights, so stick to major relationship problems only.
For example, if your girlfriend is chronically late for dates, that’s worth talking about. But if she leaves her phone charger plugged in next to your coffee maker? Not worth bringing up—it’s a minor issue you can both easily ignore.
The best way to avoid bringing up a trivial issue is by avoiding them completely. Don’t bring up small arguments when you are frustrated, because they can easily be ignored or resolved. If there is a lot of tension in your relationship, it may be best to take some time for yourself and cool off before talking about anything significant.
5) Let Go Of Past Relationships
It’s easy to cling to a relationship that didn’t work out, but that only leaves you open for more heartbreak. Keep busy and try your best not to think about your past relationships at all. If you find yourself thinking about how things could have been different in your old relationship, remind yourself of why it didn’t work out and keep moving forward.
Now that you’ve dealt with past relationships, it’s time to focus on your present one. While it might seem like you’re just giving up if things don’t work out, remember that it is never a bad thing to fall in love again. If you find yourself keeping tabs on an ex or obsessing over what they are doing, remind yourself that they need a new chapter of their life and so do you.
If you are still obsessing over your ex, there are a number of things you can do. Start by figuring out why it is so hard for you to move on. Is it because you feel like something was unfinished? Are you worried about how they might feel about their new relationship?
6) Not Every Issue Needs To Be Resolved Immediately
In some relationships, particularly long-term ones, you may feel that every issue needs to be resolved immediately—that if you don’t resolve it today, it’ll fester and eventually destroy your relationship. This is more reason why you should handle relationship anxiety with care.
This is a common mistake in long-term relationships, where many of your issues will be very difficult to resolve and will require patience and understanding. When you find yourself worrying about unresolved issues, it’s okay to take a step back and take some time off.
One of your key jobs as a partner is not allowing yourself or your partner to fall into that trap of believing everything needs resolution right now because if you do so, you’ll constantly feel anxious about how things are going.
It’s also important to remember that some issues aren’t worth resolving. If there are issues that come up in your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a terrible partner or need to walk away from your relationship.
You should just realize that those issues might not be deal-breakers for you, and it might be best for both of you if you don’t try and solve them immediately. For example, maybe your partner has some habits which bother you every once in a while.
We hope that in reading through these causes of relationship anxiety, you have gained a little bit of insight into your own behavior and why you behave as you do. If there is an issue we did not mention, feel free to write about it! We’d love to know how other people deal with their anxiety regarding relationships. Let us know if they work for you or if they don’t by leaving a comment below! We’ll read them all.
Finally, remember that anxiety is a normal reaction in stressful situations. It is not a sign of weakness or a reason to give up. Those who suffer from relationship anxiety may be encouraged by considering successful people in society today and how they dealt with their anxiety.
For example, people like Oprah Winfrey had years of rejection before getting her big break; she almost gave up and quit before she became a household name.