7 Amazing Ways To Make A Male Bestie

For women, having a male bestie or best friend or BFF who is also female can be extremely important in life—especially during your younger years as you navigate the confusing social waters of school and relationships. But what happens when you reach adulthood and suddenly find yourself with only male friends?

It may seem like the end of an era, but having a male bestie can provide many of the same benefits as having your standard BFF—if you know how to make one! Here are some tips on how to make a male bestie and keep him around for the long haul.

Here are the 7 amazing ways to make a male bestie:

1) Put Yourself Out There

Once you’ve found someone you really click with, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there! Be straightforward, and open about your desires for friendship. A lot of guys will want to become besties—and might even be looking for one themselves.

So why not take an interest in each other? You’ll already know when you first meet if it’s going to work out. And even if it doesn’t, at least you can say you tried!

ALSO READ: Bestie: 8 Best Ways To Make And Keep A Bestie

Remember that you won’t always be perfect for each other. Sometimes, your bestie will annoy you, or vice versa. That’s why it’s important not to take criticism personally. After all, no one is going to insult your friends just for fun—and if they do, it might not be worth keeping them around!

2) Talk To Everyone

7 Amazing Ways To Make A Male Bestie

The best way to make friends with men is to start talking to as many people as possible. To have someone be your friend, you first have to have some way of getting in touch with them and then take an interest in their interests. That’s why it’s key that when you see a group of male coworkers or classmates, you talk to everyone in that group.

Ask about sports, hobbies, work—really anything that might come up during small talk conversation. This is crucial because, in conversation, you’ll learn about mutual interests and create shared experiences.

You’ll also learn what people value and how they interact with others—both qualities that are great for building new friendships. If one of your friends doesn’t like sports, for example, he probably won’t hang out with you at games. Or maybe he does but chooses not to talk about them when he does. This can be valuable information!

3) Find Your Interests

Don’t worry if you don’t share every interest; that just means there are more things for you two to talk about! It’s natural for friends of any gender or sexuality to have their own interests. So don’t obsess about it. Just find your area of mutual interest, whatever it is, and start discussing it.

Other interests are bound to come up over time as your friendship grows. Are you into retro video games? Do you both love swimming? It doesn’t matter if you don’t share every interest; find one thing that you have in common and get discussing!

READ: Trust: 10 Powerful Ways to Win a Woman’s Trust

Whether it’s swimming, reading, soccer, or travel – even cooking – there is no right or wrong answer. If he likes sports, but all your knowledge of sports comes from watching Sex and The City 2 on your flight to see him in Australia, that doesn’t matter.

4) Listen More Than You Talk

When you spend time with your guy friend, make an effort to really listen and relate. Not only will it create an environment where he’s comfortable being vulnerable, but you’ll also learn more about him, which can serve as great fodder for future conversations.

If you want to be that type of friend—and not just another face in his phonebook—you have to nurture your friendship by actively listening when he speaks. It may sound counterintuitive, but being an attentive listener is actually your best bet at really making friends with men.

You can tell them about all of your life struggles and revelations when you don’t take up too much time speaking yourself—or when you aren’t talking about yourself for prolonged periods of time. Guys love talking about themselves, so make an effort to let him have his turn as well.

5) Learn Who They Are

7 Amazing Ways To Make A Male Bestie

Every guy has his own set of interests and is drawn toward different things. The most important thing is to learn who they are as people. Even if you don’t particularly care about cars, they may be into car shows. Or even if they don’t have children, they may like playing around with their kids, grandkids, or nieces and nephews.

Talking about things that are near and dear to them will help break down walls and get closer in no time. Friends in your 20s may be all about staying out late and having fun.

ALSO READ: 5 Signs To Know Your Man Won’t Marry You

Friends in their 30s and 40s might be more likely to want to watch football or spend time with their kids. Some men prefer bar nights, others like clubs, but each man has his own thing that he wants out of his free time. So, get to know him and learn what things he likes before trying to meet up.

6) Go With The Flow

If you’re nervous about bringing up the topic of friendship with a guy, don’t fret. Just go with the flow, and if he doesn’t seem open to being friends with you initially, don’t worry—be friendly anyway. You never know when the tides will turn in your favor, so be genuine and keep trying.

When you feel as though it’s time to start building your friendship, don’t be afraid to just go for it! Say something simple like, Hey, I want us to be friends. Don’t get discouraged if he doesn’t seem open at first—just stay friendly and casual. Who knows? Maybe later down the road, he will consider you his male best friend.

7) Give It Time!

There’s no rule that says you have to have a best friend who is of your same gender. Some of my closest, most meaningful friendships were made in college (with other guys).

As you establish new friendships, give yourself time! It might take some time for people to get comfortable with each other and for real connections to form. Don’t settle for anyone just because they seem nice and it’s getting late!

Sometimes, what’s needed is for two people to spend some time together outside of your group of friends. As long as they get along with your friends and you enjoy their company, it’s totally fine if they come on some of your outings or even join you in small group activities!

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